In politics as in Highlander, in the end there can be only one. This effect is exacerbated in the context of the american two party system, where elections are not merely contests to gain a government majority but epic struggles to gain control over the governing mechanisms that more or less run the free world. Which helps to explain why it’s both frustrating and yet simultaneously reassuring that almost no one is really paying attention to the dance of death still playing out between Norm Coleman and Al Franken over who will represent Minnesota, the second most frozen of the lower 48 states. Just today Coleman’s appeal to have some Franken ballots reexamined over fears of double counting has been denied.It’s frustrating in that a senator is a very important and influential position and even though the possibility of the democrats gaining the invincibility everyone was convinced would be granted by 60 seats is long since vanished, the size of their majority (and conversely the GOP minority) is still quite important.

And yet it’s also encouraging because I can’t blame people for not wanting to pay attention to a glorified vanity contest in an ice strewn land far far away. Especially with an ongoing legal struggle that makes Florida 2000 look like Elections for Dummies. In the span of less than a month we’ve covered such electoral esoterica as aforementioned double ballots, challenged ballots, and Lizard People. I Wish I Was Making This Up. Then again I have to respect the guy for having the balls to come forward: I know if George Allen had won back in 2006 thanks to this kind of “oh-democracy-is-a-funny-joke, I’ll-vote-based-on-a-frathouse-bet” assholery I’d be quite motivated to find this man, burn his house to the ground and possibly salt the earth for good measure before throwing him to the ravenous democratic horde of Richmond city. If you’re going to vote a write-in at least vote for a viable candidate, not the Hamburglar or some other godawful piece of pop culture trivia. Because if you do, as this young man is swiftly learning, it will occur in one of the few elections where the margin is so slim that when your little indiscretion is discovered it will surely be YOUR ASS.

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